hey elodie, what is it that you enjoy about teeth?

elodieunderglass:

top six things:

1. Issued twice in one human lifetime and used to signify health, wealth and social class

2. She was a young woman whose countenance owed more to the peculiar animation of her face than any bone structure or classical beauty; her coloring and features lacked distinction, though her figure was such as must please; but she was graced with a set of very fine teeth, and a wide mouth which could be used to show them all at once, so that Society thought that she must be pretty, as she had so ready and so generous a smile. 

(or so says your internal monologue as you brood pointlessly over your tongue in the bathroom mirror, running five minutes late in the morning)

3. In our pre-labor class, we were all asked what traits of ours we wanted to pass on to our unborn babies. Everyone else said things like “love of fishing,” “love of learning,” and I was just like “I wanna pass down my TEETH,” and then, because I felt like that was weird to just say in the middle of a groupshare without qualifying it further, I stated “They Have Never Given Me Any Trouble, Not Even A Cavity,” and everyone stared at them with respect,

4. “Don’t worry,” I tell Glassbab as they cry over their teething pain, sitting up while holding them against my chest all night, and dipping only lightly into passages of sleep, “It’s only the feeling of your skeleton becoming external, and you won’t remember it,”

5. the human mouth is an omnivore’s toolkit, with a clever microbiome and great evolutionary heritage, and is very interesting

6. better than the alternative