genviehoney:

ysabelmystic:

I just heard my mom tell my brother, “when you die, you will go outside and garden until your father says you’re done” and it took me a second to realize that my brother was playing a videogame and this was not a theological discussion.

My boss once texted me “Find Jesus. He’ll open the door.”

It took me half an hour before I remembered that the head groundskeeper was named Jesus (Spanish pronunciation) & he had keys to our room. I honestly thought that it was a religious text.